Sunday, April 5, 2009

ALI BABA AND THE 40 AUTO DRIVERS

Once upon a time to a far off city by the name of Chennai there went a boy named Ali Baba. Now like any other boy from his land Ali Baba was a little skeptical of the things he had heard about this mystical land…the language, the food but most importantly he was especially told to be very careful of the famous thieves of Chennai who in this famous land were called Auto Drivers.

They said it won’t be very difficult to recognize them…for they travel in a black and yellow chariot which were lined with posters of a Tamil Demi-God named Rajnikanth on one side and different semi naked Goddesses on the other.

Ok let’s cut the crap and get to the point. I FUCKING HATE THE AUTO WALLAS OF CHENNAI. Bloody mofo thieves who try and rob the customer of even the last strand of hair. Infact I think these are the guys to who stole Chriz’ Red Underwear.

The sheer audacity of these guys is what urban legends (read Rajnikanth movies) are made of. Rajnikanth in most of his movies is an Auto Driver…actually he is an Underworld Don and who becomes an Auto Driver later on. Do you see the connection??

I am sure even Hitler would look like a rookie in front of these guys. My poor flatmate was made to shell out 100 bucks for a distance of 2 kms only ‘coz the poor girl was new to the city and didn’t know the local language. Yeah just like the thieves in Ali Baba these guys work in a group. You can’t take the next one ‘coz it quite possible the next one will ask you twice the amount and might ask you to get off after half the distance.

Oh and God save ya if you want to ride one of these autos during rains. Be ready to shell out everything you have ever earned in your whole life. Your savings, your wife’s jewellery, your children’s college fund and all that cash u've been saving to buy your girl friend that red...uhmmm wateva...u get d point rite that they’ll swallow all your money and won’t even burp. Infact its quite possible they’ll ask you for more.

Infact I rate them as bigger scoundrels than even the Ram Sena dudes. The Ram Sena guys went only after pub hopping girls, these guys even go after the Dog laying at the side of the road asking the beast to share his bone with them. The Blatant shamefulness with which they demand money should be a lesson to all the US Banks on how to negotiate.

Ok to end this post I would just like to say that the Chennai Auto Drivers are thieves, cheats, murderers and just ball-less, spine-less eunuchs, who make a non-tamil feel as if he/she is in a different country. They are just plain mofo bastards and I feel like shoving their own auto up their corrupt ass.

I leave the case open to the jury now.

Disclaimer: This post is not against Chennai. Any resemblance to any non-auto driving Chennai’ite living, dead, gay or in a drunk state is purely co-incidental.

10 comments:

Phoenix said...

o i have heard about the same... samik had a similiar experience where this man charged him 400 for a 10 min ride that got extended to close to 1 hour when the pay should have been 100 bucks.. JUST IMAGINE!! im all for you mayank!

Phoenix said...

yay! im the first to comment!! tra la la la ...:)

oo7 said...

haven't had the pleasure of visiting chennai. But i have heard a lot about these smart thieves.
It's a shame that no-one uses meter.That is fair to both sides.Even in delhi,i have never found an auto that charges bt meter.
I wish govt makes a rule,some fine for not charging by meter.

NE~ISM said...

Man, this fairy tale turned rage! I understand you. I have traveled so many times and well if you don't understand the person that is taking you to and fro, well They will get ya!!

NY cab service has been like that to me on several occasions. and V they use meters :O

I love how you started talking about what all you have to give up to ride in one of those. I am making a mental note to myself about his now for future travels!!!

яノςんム said...

oh i dunno they scrape ur money, but i so hate auto wallahs cuz they apply brakes anywhere in the middle of the road as if they were presented to them byt heir big daddies on their happy budday.
and like the way u said, the Rajnikanth don turned auto driver, i guess, they have the scraps of attitude of a don. hell..

i remem i had ride in auto last yr in chandigarh. but tht was hell of a ride.

hitchwriter said...

No doubt they loot... the last time i went to chennai - just the second time.. the idiot tricked me to pay 200 rs for 10 mins ride !!! plus they dont even try a bit to communicate in hindi ! really horrible experience

иidhi S said...

What...are u sayin man... well your post make Delhi auto wallahs seems angels....oh dese autowallahs are a big pain in the @#$. But come to gurgaon and u'll knw what luxury even the rickshaw ride is. They so blatantly charge money, as if you have a tree at your backyard, and its just a matter of plucking some papery fruit and lo..
min rate is obviously 20...and it can go as high as...100-200 (evn beyond). imagine giving 100 bucks to a rickshaw-puller...

Preeti said...

I have heard about that too ...too bad they are all the same ...In jammu / delhi /bangalore /...

and iN Pune ...when u are waiting at the signal your meter is running ..hehe thats the worst thing ...

Vee said...

I was in Chennai for 6 months and I had heard lot of such things (not just about auto-wallas), But thankfully I had one of the best times in Chennai. I was stayed put close to ECR and that road is heaven for bike-riders like me.. Prollu I had bike so never came in contact with Auto-Drivers...but yeah few frenz did crib abt them..

Weather is another thing which pulls u off that place.

Mike said...

A taxi driver worse than Hitler? The guy that orchestrated the deaths of 6 million people? The guy that tried to take over the world?

Are you retarded?

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